I often hear people telling me that they don’t seem to be able to make real connections with others in the course of their business activities and therefore miss out on some golden opportunities. I always advise that they learn to manage their moods. The reality is that every mood seeks companionship. Just as misery loves company, cheerful and enthusiastic people want to associate with other upbeat people. If you are unable to match your energy with the energy of the person you’re speaking with, chances are they will not choose to do business with you.[googmonify]4494413162:right:250:250[/googmonify]
When some people wake up in the morning, they’re fairly subdued. Other people have their eyes pop open immediately and feel wide-awake and alert before their feet hit the floor. On some occasions you need to tone down your vigor to simply be able to communicate with those still puffy-eyed people. Conversely, there may be instances when you have to find a way to pep yourself up to connect with someone more energetic. This might be more challenging.
The renowned Psychologist, William James, explained how moods may be managed through actions. “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.” He continued, “Thus, the sovereign voluntary path to cheerfulness, if our spontaneous cheerfulness be lost, is to sit up cheerfully, to look around cheerfully, and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there. If this conduct does not make you soon feel cheerful, nothing else on that occasion can.” In other words, if you feel lousy, act cheerful – and soon you’ll probably feel cheerful. (It works the other way, too!) Remember, people like people who are like themselves.
This takes some practice, but I’m certain you can get good at it if you stick with it. I think you’ll be surprised not just at how easy it becomes to relate to people, but also at the sense of personal power and liberation that comes with direct experience of controlling your own emotions.